And the verdict is...

Okay, I have a confession. There was a purpose for me creating this blog, but I wasn't ready to share that reason just yet. Now, I decided why not.

Here it goes...


I'm pregnant. 


Yep, I said it. BAM. 

I sort of had a strange feeling all last week that something was up, so on Sunday (a week ago) I made the hubby stop at a Rite Aid on the way home from our lake house to get me a pregnancy test. 
Two things.  
One- I refused to go to one anywhere within a 50 mile radius of our house just incase someone I knew saw me buying it (paranoid, ridiculous... I know).
Two- We walked out with 4 pregnancy tests... because I suppose I really wanted reassurance.

Anyway- the second we got home I took one and ta da: PREGNANT written all over it. 
Now I have to admit something... I cried. And it wasn't because I was overjoyed with happiness. 

How horrible is that?

I am pregnant with our first child and I was pretty upset. Pathetic, I know.  Adam left for his work trip the night we found out too, so that only added to me being upset. I woke up the next morning feeling better about it, but not before I took 2 more pregnancy tests just in case. Same result. A big, fat PREGNANT. Oh, and when I got to work? Beautiful pink flowers delivered to me from my wonderful hubby who was halfway across the country- he's the best!

I've since gotten over the shock and am getting used to the idea that life as we know it is over changing. POSITIVE THINKING!

We even went to our first get together today since finding out, and I was offered multiple beers. I just told everyone I had a stomachache all day and didn't feel like anything to drink. It's going to be hard to hold up this non-drinking charade for a little while, but I'll do my best to make up different excuses until we can reveal the big news.

Here's the thing. I'm not a cold heartless person who doesn't want kids. I DO want kids, we just weren't planning on them for another year. So I guess we just got started a little earlier than anticipated. I think I'm more sad for this baby because it will have no cousins or friends around its age. None of our siblings have children, and none of our friends are even married yet. I grew up with cousins only 5 weeks older and younger than me and loved it, and I guess I just wanted the same for this baby too. But, life doesn't always go as expected!

We're planning on telling our parents when we all go to my parents lake house next weekend, so I think I'll feel way better about it then. According to my (non)expert calculations I am about 6 weeks along and my first doctors appointment is on Thursday the 23rd, so after that it will definitely be more real to me!


Just incase you didn't believe me...

Pregnant.